Stories. We all love them. From early civilizations to now stories are how we pass on our history, our customs, our skills, our insights and wisdom and our legacies - who we are. If you learn how to tell a story and how to appreciate the stories of others I guarantee it will change your life.

Stories contain the nuggets of information, of wisdom, of insights from others that help inspire us, that help us lead better lives, that inspire us to be more of who we are. We tap those nuggets, hammering them into golden pendants and rings we can wear when we do the hard work of both listening and telling stories. If we’re fortunate we find people who know how to ferret out those nuggets. I was lucky enough to find such a person today.

I had the most enjoyable interview today with an NPR reporter in The Netherlands - Kathryn Ryan. As a journalist myself it always feels odd to be on the interviewed end of things, but she was quite good and really made my day.

She asked questions that had me thinking about things I hadn’t though about since I was living in the van full-time (I’m there part-time and in an office space part-time now). And she asked questions I hadn’t really considered much at all. She made me go even deeper than I usually do. That’s the beauty of good interviews. This was one of my most favorite. She was good, very good. I think she just got a fan!!

I was thinking how interviews are part of the lost art of conversation actually. If we all knew how to ask and listen and move our conversations along like good journalists I wonder how our lives would be different. I have a story to tell, but it’s in the telling, in how people hear it that makes the difference. If you have a story think back about the last time you shared it with someone. Did they ask questions that showed they understood what you were talking about? Did they follow up? Did they pursue a train of thought or get distracted? Can you tell the difference? Now, can you appreciate the difference? Can you see how your questioning and listening skills can improve and how? Think about how people who hear you, really hear you - make you feel. Then go thou and do likewise!

I love interviewing other people because I find people in general inspiring. There was a show a few years back called “Everyone has a story,” and it’s true. They do. If we learn to listen and know what questions to ask we can find it. That’s probably why I love what I do. I have learned to listen to the story and to look for the story.

The most challenging part for most of us is in finding our own stories, then it’s in telling them. I think that’s what Kathryn did most for me today. She really focused on what the issues and lessons in the story were . . . what message was there? And it’s the story that all of have really - who are we? Where does our courage come from? What happened? And she helped me tell not just my story, but the story of others. Thank you Kathryn.

It’s a luxury to have someone listen to us. It’s a gift to listen to someone else. The act of sharing yourself with others and being heard is amazing. I think I share the secret pleasure of all journalists - that the stories we find inspire us because we seek them out and find them - like small treasures.

I’m finding small treasures every day in the people I meet, the ones I interview. I’m so looking forward to sharing them here…

Tips for Interviewing others:

• Withhold judgment. Better not to judge at all, but if some part of you is judgmental, hold it in.
• Pretend you’ve never heard the story - listen with new ears.
• Listen for word cues and emotions. Follow those.
• Focus on what the person is saying. Don’t be thinking of how you’re going to respond as much as you are about what the central emotion or thought behind their response is.
• Follow up with a comment on the answer to ensure you’ve understood what they meant as well as what they’ve said.
• Pause. Don’t interrupt their answer.
• Do your background. Know as much about the person as you can before you talk to them - or about the topic you’re interviewing them for.
• Care.
• Connect.