“Oh Dad, it’s just a little bit of cursing. It’s not bad.” Six heads nodded in agreement. No sex. No nudity. No gore. Just some mild swearing. Maybe the “f” word once or twice. At the head of the table “Dad” listened intently.
“You said it had some really good lessons?” he asked.
I watched as the teen-agers looked at each other - a bit shocked that their conservative father might actually be considering letting them see an “R” rated film.
“Well, I guess you all are old enough now to start thinking about these things, making your own decisions.”
“Wow! Thanks dad!” the cheers broke out along with the high fives.
“We won’t let it affect us,” one of the boys said.
“Even it we hear it, it’s just a little cursing and it won’t affect us. It’s nothing.”
Heads nodded all the way around.
“It has a lot of good stuff in it about love and honesty and stuff,” one of the teens volunteered.
“Really. It has more good stuff than bad.”
“Are you sure?” their father asked again. “I mean, sometimes even a little bit of foulness can be pretty potent.”
“Oh no, it won’t bother us,” the teens rushed to assure him.
“Well,” he paused. “If you’re sure.”
“We are!!”
“Okay. Then you can go.” Even I was surprised. The father of 8, Lyle had raised his children right. He hunted with them, took them fishing, camping, had helped the boys to become Eagle Scouts, the girls to become young entrepreneurs. But faith and the right thing always came first.
As the teenagers cleared the table he called me to one side.
“I need you to help me here,” he said, whispering his plan to me.
An hour later he called the kids back into the kitchen as he ladled brownies onto their plates.
“These smell great dad!”
“I’m really proud of you all,” he said as they reached for their brownies.
“But before you eat those I need to tell you something. We went out in the yard a little while ago and scooped up some dog poop. I added it to the brownies. It’s just a little bit – less than a tablespoon. Not much. The rest of the brownies are still sugar and chocolate and they’re pretty good. You don’t even notice the poop at all.”
“Oh dad that’s so gross!!” his two daughters said, pushing their plates away.
“Guys?”
“Pretty disgusting dad,” they all said, laying the brownies down.
“Really. It has more good stuff than bad,” he said.
“Even if you taste it, it won’t affect you. It’s nothing.”
There was silence around the table.
“If you still want to go to the movie, you can,” he said.
“I just want you to eat a brownie before you do.”
Looks shot around the table. One by one they stood up and left. No one ate a brownie.
Sometimes all it takes to change someone’s perception is to reframe the question.