I just swept and mopped my 100 square foot office (about a 10×10 foot area). Now I’m lying down to rest. I will rest for 30 to 45 minutes and then get up and wash dishes in the small bathroom sink, or do something else for 15 minutes before I rest again. Like millions of Americans, I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. Most of the time it stays in remission. But every so often, after a month or so of unusual stress, it rears its head and I know for the next four to six months my days will consist of maybe 3 to 4 hours of being able to work, and the rest of the time I will sleep or “rest.” There are days I sleep for 20 hours straight - waking up only to use the bathroom before collapsing exhausted into bed. No amount of sleep helps. Only time, exercise and eating right seem to do anything. It screws up my work and schedule, but on the other hand, by not having a 9-5 job, I can rearrange my work most of the time. There are days when all I get done is checking email. But that’s something! I thank God I can still work enough not to have to depend on others.

Chronic Fatigue, long thought to be a “malingerer’s” disorder - something lazy people claimed to have when they didn’t want to work, is finally being recognized as a real disease with a biological marker. It’s an autoimmune disease - meaning the body attacks itself. The immense fatigue - much like what you’d feel at the height of a bad case of the flu, combined with the body and joint pains of Fibromyalgia, sucks, to put it simply. But it is what it is. My doctor believes the disease stems from severe childhood trauma (been there, had that). But whatever caused it, it’s pretty easy to say, “It’s not fair.” And it’s not. That and $400 will pay my rent. I’ve learned that whining and blaming makes it worse, not better. So now when I rest and feel discouraged I go online in search of inspiration. And I find it. Today I found Cha Sa-Soon.

Cha Sa-soon, is a 69-year-old woman who lives alone in the mountain-ringed village of Sinchon. According to the story in The New York Times about her, she recently got her driver’s license after failing the test 960 times. She got the driving part. It was the written test that she couldn’t pass. Her ability to read and write had to be overcome first. Even taking the audio version of the test didn’t work. But she didn’t let that deter her. She had to take two buses to the office where she could take the test. Missing one meant a two-hour wait. Persistence is a much admired trait in South Korea, and just about anywhere I’d say.

So when I read about Cha Sa-soon I responded to an email I’d been waiting to answer. I sent them the link to the story and wished them well. It won’t do any good. People like that just write back and say, “But you don’t understand. I can’t just do it,” and then launch into a long list of reasons why their age, their health, their lack of schooling and their childhood created a perfect excuse for not trying. People like that think you’re being “selfish” if you respond with stories about your own challenges, or if you point to others who have overcome blindness, paralysis or cancer or amputation to create a life. I don’t share my challenges to get pity. I share them to say, “Yeah, I really DO understand. I do!” Apparently that doesn’t penetrate some people’s anger over what they see as injustice directed right at them.

They are so focused on their own misery they become HUGE energy vampires and wonder why no one wants to be around them. So they complain louder, get angrier and drive more people away. It’s a vicious cycle. I know. I used to do that. I work hard at not doing it. One way is by realizing that accepting the cards and learning to play the hand dealt you is a lot more productive than anger, bitterness and whining. I do complain. But I don’t let it stop me. And I’m working on getting to the point where I don’t even bitch and complain! It’s coming!! I’m so much better than I used to be, but I’m not there yet. I’m a work in progress. But that’s why I write these blog posts. Because I want people to know it IS a process - and you have to persist - not resist the lesson.

The fact is persistence, not resistance, is how we all get through this thing called life. If you have a home, be grateful! So many don’t. If you’re on the street and you’re alive, you’re doing something - eating when you can, sleeping where you can, and doing what you can to survive, be grateful. You could be much worse off. And if you’re doing enough to stay alive, then you’re already doing the baby steps you need to succeed. I’m already doing it. No, I’m not as fast or capable as I used to be. I can’t work some days. But I don’t look at what I can’t do. I look at what I can do. It’s a choice.

Cha Sa-soon could have given up, said life wasn’t fair, or settled for riding the bus. But she didn’t. She needed the license for her vegetable selling business. So she just kept taking the test and taking the test. And she passed. All she wanted was the driver’s license, but her efforts inspired so many that Hyundai gave her a new car and put her in a car commercial. Her life is much better now because she focused on what she could do and did it.

“Her tenacity,” The NY Times writer noted, “has struck a chord with South Koreans, who are often exhorted to recall the hardship years after the 1950-53 Korean War and celebrate perseverance as a national trait.

“The country’s most popular boxing champion was Hong Su-hwan, who was floored four times before knocking out Hector Carrasquilla to win the World Boxing Association’s super bantamweight championship in 1977. His feat gave rise to a popular phrase about resolve: “Sajeonogi,” or “Knocked down four times, rising up five.”

We are all inspired by persistence, but rarely understand how truly inspiring effort is until we try and fail ourselves.

I have no great goals other than the ones I set and work on. Some days I can work longer than others. Some days are normal. I get little or no advance warning until I wake up. I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I look at what I have, not what I don’t have; at what I can do, not at what I can’t do. I grieve the things I will never get to do, and look forward to things I think I can. Wherever you are on your journey - remember - I DO UNDERSTAND!! ANd I tell you, it’s persistence, not resistance. It’s not a race. It’s your life. Enjoy every precious minute you have. Even that can be taken away in an instant. All you have is NOW. Persist.