“I like you, but we’re not friends.” Ever want to say that? I do. I get requests from people on social networks, G+, Facebook, Triiibes.com, LinkedIn and so on all the time to be “friends.” 90% of them I say “Yes” to, unless there’s some obvious reason not to like, the only information I can find on them is linked to porn, dating sites, enhancement products or pyramid marketing schemes.

If they look like real people and aren’t just a fake profile, I generally say yes. All I do on social media sites is vent, praise, be a cheerleader and a social butterfly anyway. I don’t share anything on line I wouldn’t say after I sung the national anthem at a football game. Still, I don’t want unsafe people privy to my personal conversations any more than you’d want some stranger obviously eavesdropping on your lunchtime chat with a co-worker. It just feels creepy. I can like you, but not be your friend.

The other person I say “No,” to is people I have a history with, unsafe people. People who have proven they will lie to me, and then lie to me about lying to me, and then lie to me about lying to me about lying to me. You know the type. Most of these are ex’s of some sort: ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, ex-co-worker, ex-neighbor, ex-landlord, anyone who at one time was an acquaintance, friend, lover or in your life for some reason. Ex’s are ex’s for a reason and not all those reasons are good. While I maintain a civil, and sometimes even friendly acquaintance with them, as in I smile and chat with them in the grocery store if I should happen to run into them (Hi! How’re the kids? How’s work? How’s your parole officer?) that doesn’t mean I want to share the details of my life with them—even the inconsequential details.

I have a three lie rule. Lie to me once and you get my attention. Lie to me twice and I start looking for the door. Lie to me three times and I’m gone. I’m not talking about those, “I like your haircut,” when you really think it makes me look older; or the “This is a great dinner!” when you’re struggling to swallow whatever I just served. I’m talking about the “I did not have sex with that woman,” kind of Clintonesque lie. I’m talking about the lie that puts walls between us, the lies about your life, values or feelings that impact our relationship. I’m talking about the boyfriend who said, “I didn’t sleep with her,” when he did, then lied about it, then lied about lying about it. I’m talking about the co-worker who supports you to your face, then goes behind your back and lies about you to your boss.

If people can’t be honest about their feelings, thoughts and life with you there is no friendship. So while I might stop and exchange pleasantries or smile and wave “hello” to an old acquaintance in the supermarket just to be polite or because I can’t avoid them, it doesn’t mean I want to friend them on Facebook.

If you have a clean slate with me, and an interesting history I can find online, I’m open to exploring and exchanging ideas. But if you’re someone from my past who has hurt me in any way, the door is closed. You had your chance(s) and blew it. Your bad. Have a nice life. Just don’t have it in my circles.