For the past decade I’ve been battling Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyaliga and skin problems ranging from Chronic Hives to mild psoriasis. This month I added pneumonia on top of all that. I finally understand what old people mean when they say, “I’m tired and ready to die.” I had nothing left to give, and still, really, don’t. I have moments where some energy finds its way into me, but mostly? I sleep a lot.

I recently learned that fatigue, joint pain, foggy brain, tiredness, muscle aches, and all these symptoms I’ve had are related to poor thyroid issues which are tied to stress, burnout and poor diet. I’m addicted to sodas and processed foods—both of which are like being addicted to poison actually—since that’s what they are. After months and months and years and years of peeling back the onion I finally admitted that taking more supplements and vitamins is not going to fix my primary problem—the food and sugar I’m taking in.

So I did what any obsessive compulsive self-help junkie would do. I ordered a juicer. A Hamilton Beach BigMouth Juicer (yes, it’s an affiliate link). And I love it! I’m looking for a good book on juice recipes, but in the meantime, I’m experimenting—juicing one or two veggies and sipping the results. I’ve gotta admit, they ALL taste pretty darn good. The next step is a juice fast, rest and recovering from pneumonia, which has knocked me out all month. I’ve literally only gotten out of bed for the most necessary of tasks (think bathroom, not cleaning) and to go to the doctor.

When I wasn’t doing anything else, which was most of the time, I threw impromptu pity parties. Easy to do since I was the only one invited and hey, I wasn’t doing anything else! I wallowed in the “why me?” for awhile. Then I got online and started digging for answers and found the world of juicers. I’d briefly thought about juicing before, but opted against it the three times friends made me carrot and apple, beet or carrot juice and I vomited 30 minutes afterward, then for the rest of the evening. I thought juicing and I didn’t work. Someone told me carrots, beets and some root veggies do that to people and to stick with fruit, celery and then try other things to see what stayed down.

I did it. And everything stayed down and even tasted great and I felt full. So I tried ONE carrot and boom! The nausea welled up and then passed. Now I know. Test all your veggies before guzzling them by the glassful! So now I’m juicing my meals.

I’ve also decided to start “juicing life,” and seeing each moment for what it is, not what it could be, or what I want it to be. I’m going to squeeze every drop out of every day, even if 18 hours of that day are spent in bed resting.

If this isn’t inspiring or educational, it’s not supposed to be. I just wanted to let you all know I’m still here and in “hibernation,” and “healing” mode. Thanks for reading!