“Are we there yet?” I don’t know. Maybe “there” is not really a place at all, like Never-Never-Land. It’s a place where we dream of, long for, aspire to, but never really find. This is my favorite photo - the tag I have between my speedometer on the van’s dash. I like to write about it a lot because I think about it a lot - “Am I there yet?”

The hardest part about answering that question is defining where “There” is. Is it a certain amount of money in the bank? A “good” relationship? A certain job, career or lifestyle? “There,” for me, is satisfaction with who I am as a person. What is my character? Do I treat people well, regardless of how they treat me? Am I honest, even when it hurts, or is uncomfortable, or cost me something? Have I done my best? Have I been compassionate? Have I been grateful? Have I achieved the goals I’ve set for myself?

I’ve decided to take a month off and stay with a friend in Richmond while I focus on my writing, my client projects and building up the old bank account. It was a hard decision to get off the road and focus on making money. But then it occurred to me that it’s not a “set-back,” merely another part of the journey. That was freeing, to realize that it’s ALL a part of the journey. Our failures, set-backs, pauses….everything that happens to us becomes part of us, part of our finding and getting to “there.” The romance of being a full-time freelance writer is seductive. Friends think it’s all about freedom. But it’s actually all about discipline. You work MORE hours and you work harder as well as longer. You’re bookkeeper, Human Resources, grunt, go-for and mail clerk. Yes, you have some freedom, but only in certain things. And the truth is, we all have that same freedom even if we work for someone else. We have the freedom to choose. We choose to work set hours (for an employer) that someone else dictates instead of the hours we set for ourselves. Even if you’re in a job you hate, you’ve made a choice. You prefer the income and steady paycheck over the uncertainty of running your own business.

It’s all about choices, no matter what you do - it’s on you. A lot of people I talk to say, “Yeah, but I don’t really have a choice. When you have a kid/spouse/house/health problem/disability/parents/no money you don’t REALLY have a choice.” Well, yeah you do. You may not like it - but you can change your choices. Don’t like your job? Find a new one. Yes, there are consequences, those are what the choices are about. People settle for things they don’t like because change is harder than settling. When the pain of where we are becomes greater than the pain of change - that’s when we change - make a different choice. The fact is, we DON’T HAVE TO WAIT FOR PAIN. We can make that choice because it’s what we want, what we deserve, what we dream of. Are you waiting to make choices based on pain? Or on where you want to ultimately be?

I’m not there yet, but I’m on my way. How about you?