Not Your Normal Goal Setting

All that glitters is not gold. The photo to the left? Sunburst through the trees….not golden filigree.

When I got back from speaking at TED Global in 2009 Seth Godin, who helped me get to TED, challenged me to write down my goals. So I did. It changed my life. Not in the ways I anticipated, but it changed my life.

Goals, according to typical business and marketing practice, involve things like numbers—numbers of books sold, products launched, achievements, and things you accumulate, create or produce. I set those goals. They left me empty. They changed my life—in that they showed me where the holes in it were.

So about 2-3 years ago I set a new goal—to become the PERSON I wanted to be, rather the statistics and accomplishments I wanted to acquire.

I took an inventory of myself, my habits, personality and ways of relating to and with people, and I didn’t like what I found. I turned back in earnest to my spiritual roots. It seems, some days, like the more I become who God wants me to be, the further I get away from what the world says I should be. Even so, I’m so far from who I want to be, I wonder if I’ll ever change. But I keep moving towards the goals. I can understand now why the Bible says so few people find, let alone enter, “the narrow gate.” It’s hard.

Olympic athletes give up a lot to become who they are. They leave friends, school and even relationships behind in order to “press on” to win. The sacrifices they make define them. It’s a hard, lonely path and many of them, after reaching their goal of gold, or silver or bronze, look back and wonder if it was worth it.

I look at my friends, acquaintances and clients—many of whom think I’m a Bible thumping nut job, and wonder the same myself, but only briefly, in fleeting thoughts. I won’t find or achieve my goal of becoming the Christian I want to be in this life, and I certainly won’t give up a minute of it to chase down a goal that will be only straw burned in a fire in the next life.

I’m working towards an eternal goal, a golden crown, not a temporary crown, success in this life. It’s not smooth sailing. There are many, many, many days I act strictly by faith, not seeing any results. It’s just one foot in front of another. People think I’m “wasting my talents,” or am crazy, or “religious,” or whatever, but I’m not. If we become the PEOPLE we want to be, it makes sense the rest follows. And if it doesn’t, character is something no one can take away from us.

At the end of my life I want to be able to ask, “Was I kind? Was I compassionate? Did I do the right thing when it was the hardest thing? Did I hold my tongue? Did I choose mercy over judgment? Did I put the good of others before my own? Did I love fully, deeply and unconditionally? Did I always tell the truth? Did I feed and clothe the poor, the homeless, the widowed? Was I there for friends and enemies alike? Did bless and help both friend and foe equally? Did I turn the other cheek? Did I hold my tongue? Did I love my neighbor as myself? Did I put God above all else in my life?”

And after asking, I want to be able to answer, “Yes. Yes, I did.”

I can’t say that yet and it disturbs me deeply. I’ve spent months asking forgiveness and forgiving others, changing habits, getting rid of habits and developing new ones. I know my goals—to hold my tongue, to eliminate my temper, to engage my brain before I speak. To speak from a pure heart, not a manipulative one. To love others, especially my enemies. It’s hard. Yet, the closer I get to these goals, the further behind being a “success” in the terms the world thinks of as success I get. It’s a bittersweet feeling, but Jesus was right—we can only serve one God. I have chosen this day whom I will serve. Who are you serving?

Hurricane Sandy left millions of people without homes, power, resources, safety or even their lives when it blew through the Eastern Seaboard recently. I dare say that those who were bickering and whining and complaining about their lives before the storm can now look around themselves and see exactly how inconsequential their worries and concerns were and what real challenges are now. Somehow, when you’ve lost everything, the stuff that really matters becomes crystal clear. It often takes losing everything, or nearly everything, to come to a point where we’re forced to realize how powerless we truly are. And, to see that God is the one who’s really in control.

I don’t know how else to describe it, but the peace and comfort I find in a goal of being more like Christ, no matter how horribly I appear to be failing outwardly right now, so far exceeds the feeling of hitting a sales goal, or launching a business, or completing another book. It’s bliss, sheer bliss. It’s like life is like living in the aftermath, filth and chaos of Sandy, and moving towards being closer to God is like walking out of the rubble and into safety, a banquet, hot showers, love, hugs and permanent peace. It’s a walk of faith for sure. And if you don’t have it, it makes no sense.

Given the state the world is in right now, and what’s coming on us in weeks, or months or years, I can’t imagine why anyone would even consider focusing on “life as usual.” The Bible says people will continue living as they are, partying, marrying, doing business and whatever right up until the day God’s wrath hits. I am preparing for that day, and watching. Are you?